OK – let’s get down to the real nitty gritty…where my comfort zone is so far off it is a mere dot on the horizon.

I give you the Plymouth ladies versus the Bissary ladies (highly trained incidentally) first ever football match.

Basically I thought I was going to die.  What with the heat and the dust, moving faster than a walk for the first time in at least three months and the general terror of the baying (not really – the people are great) crowd, it felt like an elephant had landed on my chest.

We lost 2-0.  It would have been much much more if not for our amazing goal keeper, the fact that we all weighed twice as much as them, they played in bare feet and had no killer instinct for goal scoring.  And one of our defenders might have been a bit ropey…

Anyhoo.  It was an EVENT.  Everyone turned up.  Even the chief put in an appearance having been briefed on his mobile from spectators pitch-side.

See below for size comparison…

I put this one in, since I am facing the direction of play in a rare moment of understanding.